


Look At Me, I'm Here!

by youngdo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, Pining, Roommates, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,976
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27027586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngdo/pseuds/youngdo
Summary: Don’t worry, I will try not to fall for you. I promise I won’t fall in love with you.He failed.He failed so bad.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Suh Youngho | Johnny, Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung/Lee Taeyong
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	Look At Me, I'm Here!

**Author's Note:**

> my first fic after a while. i hope you like it ♡

_It was a Saturday._

Weekends were always the most awaited days of the two. Five consecutive days of either dealing with customers and their complicated orders for a cup of coffee or training in a dance studio for an upcoming competition everyone was expecting a win were too exhausting for these roommates. Doyoung would throw up already if he smells one more time the scent of the spoiled creamer his new employees: Shotaro and Sungchan, forgot to put out again, or more so Jeno forgot to remind them. Taeyong’s bones would obliterate immediately if he dances to the whole routine seven more times _(“practice will never betray me, but it will kill me at this point” he told himself)_. Just thinking about these exhausted their physical body already. That’s why on these weekends, they decided to do anything but the above.

It’s weekend! Their days off at the same time. Their work and career were out of the talk for these two days. Saturdays and Sundays are for recreation, destressing, and for doing things they have planned the whole weekdays: either something they would do together ─ like when they played a claw machine in a nearby arcade to win the stuffed pink bunny Taeyong had been constantly telling Doyoung about _(it took them exactly 127 tries but seeing Taeyong jumping and flailing out of bliss was worth it)_ , or something they would do on their own. Most of the times, Taeyong would lock himself in his room to write and compose songs to kill time. Doyoung, on the other hand, would be a resident in the kitchen, trying new recipes for his breads and pastries in his café. These were how they usually kill time during weekends.

Except this time, laziness coursed through their veins. The two of them were currently sitting on a couch in front of a television, utilizing Taeyong’s almost expiring subscription for an anime streaming application in the most way possible.

“I say it’s time we change the show to Digimon. I’m already tired of all these ninja stuff!”

“Why would I listen to you?”

“Come on, hyung! We’ve been binge watching Naruto for six hours already. It’s time for some breath of fresh air.”

“You have a point, but no. Not Digimon.”

Taeyong might have witnessed, once again, one of the rare times Doyoung put those puppy eyes of him to work, but he said nothing about it. After all, it was such a sight, he thought.

“Do I not have any say about the shows we watch?”

“Well,” Taeyong pretended he was thinking hard, placing his chin over the back of his hands and squinting his two eyes a little. Anyway, he already made up his mind. “I am the one who paid the subscription for three months now so I say I am the boss here.”

The next thing he felt was although tolerable, still painful sensation in his legs. Doyoung may look like a bunny, but he sure kicks like a horse, a fact Taeyong keeps on noting to himself but always leaving on the back of his mind. The look of defeat was evident on the other’s face ─ the burrowed brows, the crease in between the bridge of his nose, the crossed arms on his chest, and that little pout on his lips. Teasing Doyoung was Taeyong’s favorite pastime during weekends. He emitted a loud laugh, finding the view rather amusing and interesting than the show on the television. Taeyong might have changed the show anyway. Those puppy eyes might had worked. Well, it always had.

🥀

“Isn’t your bestfriend moving in today?”

Three hours into case solving and killer hunting, Taeyong reminded his roommate of an event he might had possibly forgotten already. The two both agreed to watch Detective Conan instead, Digimon not being of Taeyong’s taste, he explained. It wouldn’t be a surprise if the other forgot about his bestfriend. Doyoung was too occupied with the show on the television.

“Oh!” Doyoung yelped then took a glance at the round wall clock near the shelf in their living room. “Thirty more minutes until they get here I believe. Enough for one more episode, I think.”

Taeyong hummed in response, not pushing the topic even further. He checked the other’s overall appearance. Somehow, a grimace made it to his handsome face. “Shouldn’t you like,” he paused as he pointed his index finger to the other, from the top of his head down to his socked feet. “Make yourself presentable at least?”

Doyoung’s brow raised before he looked down to himself after the other’s statement. He was still wearing the same sweatpants he had been wearing since three days ago. His grey hoodie was all crumpled; he was not sure if it was even his or Taeyong’s. He did not smell bad anyway, he thought, but more to convince himself. Certainly, he was a mess. His hair was messy all over, face much oilier than usual, and his clothes were just… dirty. He realized he was disgusting, and his bestfriend might tell him he was an abomination. It only took one quick glance to his roommate to safely conclude he wasn’t alone in this problem.

Taeyong too was just as disgusting.

“I think we both need to take a bath. A long, refreshing one on top of that.”  
They both nodded in agreement.

🥀

Taeyong was the first one to exit the very realm of one of their two bathrooms. He walked straight to their shared room, only a towel wrapped below his torso. He popped himself into some fresh clothes, a bunch that both he and Doyoung just got from the nearby laundromat a few hours ago. He could hear Doyoung sing a familiar song in a perfect tune from the bathroom adjacent to their room. He might have spent quite some time listening to it with his eyes closed while sitting on the edge of his bed, enjoying every note, but he wouldn’t want to tell the other that. He didn’t want to feed his roommate’s ego more as he got enough of that. Besides that point, Doyoung was taking forever to finish.

Taeyong was really thankful their unit has two bathrooms or he might have turned crazy waiting for his turn after Doyoung’s every time the take a bath. Doyoung takes bath the longest among all the people Taeyong had ever lived with and known, a simple fact that wasn’t that hard to conclude. He couldn’t imagine all the lates he might have been getting all this time on his way to the studio if ever. One time, he confronted his roommate about this very issue. Doyoung simply giggled and told him, _“we could just shower together, hyung,”_ in a teasing voice. Nonetheless, Taeyong was sleep deprived for four days thinking about showering with Doyoung but he got over it now.

A few minutes later, Doyoung walked out of the other bathroom, wearing a two-size larger shirt and another one of many sweatpants he owned, a towel on his head while his wet, black hair was shimmering under the lights on their ceiling. All of this glory, Taeyong gladly feasted his eyes with. He misses seeing Doyoung with some shorts on, with his milky legs exposed, but that’s something for himself to keep.

“Forty-five minutes. You’re two minutes quicker than two days ago. Congrats.”

“Is that a new record?”

“Almost! You finished after forty-two minutes last week. It’s a Saturday as well.”

It had become a habit of Taeyong to time each bath session Doyoung makes. Doyoung agreed to this idea anyway, telling him he would try his best to beat one record to another and to set a new one. It was silly, yes, but they find no harm in it so they kept doing it after the first three attempts.

It had taken Doyoung a little more than five minutes to finally dry his hair. The sound of the hairdryer and the videos Taeyong was watching on his Instagram explore tab were all just white noises now. The two men were silent for a few, minding their own businesses.

Not too long after, Doyoung’s phone emitted a loud beep. Curious as to who could be invading his notification center at this moment, Doyoung walked to the direction his phone was currently laying flat and charging, unlocked the screen and skimmed through the message he just got.

Taeyong had never seen Doyoung run out of their room that quickly until now.

🥀

It was past twenty minutes since Doyoung’s lightning quick exit of their room, of their unit. Taeyong had finished scrolling on his Instagram, keeping up with whatever his friend Sicheng was doing, on wherever Mark and Donghyuck were sharing their first date, and enough random things to keep himself occupied for a while. He had nothing more left to do on his phone, and he was too lazy to pick up the still wet towel his roommate had left lying on his bed, so he decided to check up on his roommate and probably say _hi_ to their new neighbors as well. Doyoung might have mentioned about his bestfriend moving in with his fiancé, so he was looking forward to meeting the two of them. He grabbed their keycard, not wanting the same incident when the two of them were locked out of their unit the whole night to happen again. He learned from that experience the hallways and the corridors were super creepy during the night.

Once he was out, he knocked on the door in front of theirs.

It’s amazing how fate works. Immediately just after the two former tenants of the very room in front of theirs: Kun and Dejun were the names if he remembered correctly, had officially bid their farewell to him and his roommate as they were coming back to China for they already fulfilled something business related here in this country, Doyoung got a call from his bestfriend, inquiring him for an available unit for two in the city. It didn’t take Doyoung and the person on the other line to agree on booking the recently vacated unit in front of theirs. Before this day, Taeyong was somehow fed up of Doyoung constantly telling him of wanting to reunite with his childhood bestfriend after so long. He could only imagine how Doyoung must have felt like now that his very best friend was now officially living a few steps away from the unit they share.

It took a couple taps of his fluffy slippers on the floor before he noticed the doorknob twisted after a soft beep emitted from the inside. He stood there, ready to flash his nicest smile to greet their new neighbors, but as soon as he saw the man who welcomed him, his face dropped, the smile faded.

“Taeyong?”

Of course, it had to be him. It had to be _him_ of all people. Taeyong didn’t like the way he was smiling, the way it looked like he was happy to see him, because Taeyong knows well enough not to believe and get fooled by those beautiful smiles. Not again. Taeyong knows too well.

“Long time no see, Yong!” he cringed at the nickname. The smile was still there, plastered on the very face of the tall man in front of him, and Taeyong wanted nothing but to rip that off out of his face. But he knew better. So he played along, flashing his nicest smile just like how he planned it all along.

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Youngho,” he replied casually, accepting the hand the other offered him. It was still as rough as he remembered.

“Same here,” Youngho kept the conversation going, although Taeyong might not be into it. “What are the odds right? Small world.”

“Yeah,” was all Taeyong could say.

Youngho was still the majestic, beautiful man that he was back in college. He was still the same intimidating-yet-soft guy Taeyong found hilarious before. But despite all of that, he was still the same person that broke his heart. Youngho was still the reason Taeyong was heartbroken and unable to love again.

From the simple two-minute interaction the two had just right now, Taeyong was reminded of the four years they spent together, of the memories they both shared. Taeyong was reminded of the very day Youngho broke his heart, of the very day Youngho didn’t choose him, of the day they decided to part ways.

The sight of the man was enough to make his heart clench once again. Taeyong thought he had moved on already since that was what he was trying to teach himself all along. Taeyong thought he had successfully done it ─ forgetting everything about the man. This very moment, Taeyong realized all of those were only in his head. He had never done it. The sight of the man was enough to make him break another time.

“Youngho, who’s there at the door?” Taeyong could hear someone call from inside, someone that didn’t sound like anyone he knew. It must have been from Doyoung’s bestfriend, from Youngho’s fiancé. He’s certain, it was the person his roommate is best of friends with, the person Doyoung was so excited to see, _the person Youngho was about to marry_.

Taeyong was proven right after he saw Doyoung, with an unknown man beside him, approached the door from behind Youngho. After Youngho had slightly moved away from the doorframe, Doyoung had a sight of Taeyong. He beamed a smile to him, and hurried onto him as if they haven’t seen each other for an extensive amount of time; as if they weren’t in the same room just half an hour ago.

“Taeyong! You’re here,” Doyoung said as he latched onto his arms. The same unknown man from before appeared behind Youngho, hugging him from behind. Taeyong watched the two as they smiled to each other. They look so happy. _Youngho was so happy_.

“Doyoungie, who’s this fine young man, eh?” the stranger asked casually. Doyoung grimaced, cringing at the endearment the man just gave him.

“Anyway,” Doyoung removed his grip on Taeyong’s arm, pointing his finger to the person behind Youngho. “Taeyong, I want you to meet my bestfriend. He’s a dork and he's the most annoying person: Jaehyun!”

The unknown person, now Jaehyun, threw his slippers to Doyoung, hitting him on his arm. Doyoung just chuckled, amused of how his bestfriend looked right now.

“And the giant one with cool hair and a handsome face is his fiancé. His name is Youngho.”  
‘ _I know_ ,’ Taeyong wanted to say. Jaehyun and Youngho waved their hands in sync for Taeyong, both faces showcased welcoming and warm smiles towards him. Taeyong reciprocated the smiles, although seeing them this happy made him annoyed. After all these years, after all this time, and even after they broke up, Youngho could still muster a smile, a genuine one on top of that. He could be happy without him, but all Taeyong became was a miserable broken hearted boy. It was unfair. It was truly unfair, he thought.

He can see from his very eyes right now that Youngho had moved on, that whatever happened in the past didn’t hurt him anymore. The same was not true for Taeyong though. He was still the same broken person that he was that day. If Youngho had moved on, _he too must_. He wouldn’t let Youngho win this game. He wouldn’t let him know he’s still struggling.

Perhaps, he thought of a super crazy idea.

 _‘Doyoung, don’t kill me after this.’_.

“Jaehyun, Youngho, please meet Taeyong. He is my roo—“

“ _Boyfriend_ ,” Taeyong cut Doyoung off, earning gasps of surprise and wide eyes from the people around him, especially from Doyoung. “I am his boyfriend.”

“Wait, Doyoung! Why didn’t you tell me about this?” Jaehyun looked confused, sending Doyoung a look that could mean _“I need an explanation.”_ The smile on his face however told him Jaehyun was a lot happy to hear the news.

“Well I— I uh,” Taeyong watched Doyoung as he was finding it difficult to complete a proper sentence. He also took note of the really surprised face Doyoung has on his face at the moment. Taeyong scooted closer to the other, rubbing his palms to his back as a gesture of comfort or sort of.

“That’s good to hear,” Youngho was the only one extremely cheerful among the group. He smiled at both of them and sent them a thumbs up. “I heard a lot of nice things about Doyoung from Jaehyun so I can say you got a nice catch, Taeyong!”

Taeyong hated that Youngho was all too happy about it. Well, he didn’t know what exactly to expect from this impulsive action, but at least from Youngho’s perspective, he looked like he got over everything now.

“Yes! Doyoung, you have good taste in men,” Jaehyun looked at still dumbfounded Doyoung slyly. Taeyong made a mental note to himself to explain everything to his roommate. He just hope he wouldn’t take it the wrong way.

“T-thanks,” Doyoung replied, much to Taeyong’s surprise. “I only pick the finest flower in the garden. Remember that, Jaehyunnie.”

Taeyong admires a lot of things about Doyoung, but being able to play along well with his stunts quickly must be the icing on the cake. Doyoung gave him a short glance, but from that, Taeyong knew he got a lot to explain to him later. These Detective Conan binge watching had really improved his way of thinking.

The four had talked about different topics a little more. They talked about how modelling provided Jaehyun enough to pay his dues back in college, and Taeyong proudly told them Doyoung was just as good in modelling which made the latter shake his head in embarrassment. They talked about how the last two tenants of the room were always giving them cookies whenever they bake every Sunday morning, and Jaehyun guaranteed them this habit won’t take its full stop but instead prolong. They had talked about a lot, but they never talked about how Youngho and Taeyong already knew each other.

“Oh yeah, before we forgot!” Youngho exclaimed, calling the attention of the two people outside the door. “Jaehyun and I- I mean, just Jaehyun, will be cooking dinner tomorrow, and we would like to invite you two. It will be nice to know more about the two of you.”

“And after knowing the news, I think it will be appropriate to call it a double date,” Jaehyun winked at the roommates, earning a grimace from Doyoung.

“Sure,” it was Taeyong who accepted the offer, nudging Doyoung in secrecy, reminding him to say anything.

“It will be a pleasure, plus I missed Jaehyun’s cooking. Although Taeyong was just as good, my taste buds still long for your cooking,” Taeyong blushed a little at Doyoung’s remark, scratching the back of his head. He never thought he liked the food he cooked.

“Well I know for a fact how good of a cook Taeyong is,” Youngho replied, earning a look from the mentioned name.

“Yeah he’s really good,” Doyoung excitedly nodded in agreement, patting his roommate’s back to boost more his self-esteem. “But I bet you’re just as good. Jaehyun must have thought you a lot.”

“Doyoung you talk as if you’re the worst cook ever,” Taeyong butted in and chuckled. “I know myself how your cooking is the best I’ve ever witnessed.”

“I know right!” Jaehyun excitedly nodded as he agreed with the other. Youngho looked at the bunny-like man and smiled in amazement. “You should cook for me again another time. I miss your kimchi-jjigae so much.”

“All this cook-talk and now I’m hungry!” Youngho chirped in. “Also I got it! You all are good at cooking. I was prohibited by Jaehyun to get anywhere near a gas stove.”

“I just don’t want to set the house ablaze and in flames,” all of them chuckled harmoniously. Taeyong was very much aware how _not-good_ Youngho was at cooking. He can cut vegetables and meat good anyway.

“Well, I just got an idea, like, let’s make some food some time, all of us, together!” Doyoung suggested, to which the couple eagerly accepted evident with their reassuring smiles and nod.

“Let’s just make sure not to let him near the stove.”

Everyone threw a fit of laughter as Youngho pinched the side of his fiancé. Jaehyun reminded everyone of that time Youngho almost burnt the kitchen while trying to cook one ramen. He added more tragic stories and experiences from Youngho trying to cook. At the end, they concluded Youngho and cooking should not be brought in the same sentence together.

“Well, even good cooks make huge mistake sometimes,” Youngho, trying to be objective that he is, averted the topic of his cooking skills. “I remember Taeyong that time when he put sugar instead of salt on his soup. I’d never had a sweet beef broth soup until that time.”

Taeyong, surprised at the sudden mention of his name and the sudden bringing up of a past memory of them two, felt the questioning gaze his roommate was throwing him at the moment. He added on his mental note to tell him about his past with the man.

“But you still drank all of it saying it’s the best. I know it’s a lie but damn, are you a good liar!”

“Wait, you two knew each other?” Jaehyun inquired. Curiosity was evident in both of him and Doyoung’s faces.

Taeyong looked at Youngho, anticipating him to answer the question himself. Youngho just sent him a smile, and Taeyong couldn’t decide whether he liked seeing it or not. After all, it was the same smile that made his heart beat at double time, the smile from the same person who broke his heart as well. Taeyong just heaved a sigh. _I can’t just tell them he’s my ex._

“We were roommates back in college,” he came up with this as the answer. Youngho just smiled at his answer and nodded. Doyoung wasn’t convinced at the answer though. He knew there’s something more to it than meets the eye.

“Yeah. Roommates.”

“Well that’s cool!” Jaehyun clapped his hands in excitement.

Doyoung threw Youngho another glance. He never saw him prior this day, but as he avert his gaze from him to his roommate, he knew the fact was not the same in his case, and he also knew there’s something deeper behind their relationship than just merely roommates. He saved the question for next time.

“That means we have a lot to keep up tomorrow. So I say let’s all have good rest now. See you guys tomorrow.”

🥀

There was a pregnant silence once the two had securely entered their unit. In all the thirteen months they had been living together, Taeyong had never been this awkward around Doyoung until today. Well, what could he expect?

They made a beeline to the kitchen, decided it was time for dinner, finally. Doyoung took the leftover takeouts from their lunch into the microwave, setting the timer to two minutes and watching as the bowl rotated inside the heating equipment.

Suddenly, Taeyong found the subtle noise of the microwave amusing, the low groan of the fridge amusing, the silent hums of the air conditioner amusing. The silence was too much for him to bear that every noise he could hear, he took interest to it immediately.

He studied his roommate. Doyoung was motionless standing in front of the heating oven. His face was unlike any other face Taeyong had seen of him. He clearly was thinking of something, contemplating, _contemplating hard_.

Taeyong wasn’t sure if Doyoung was mad. Upset? He might have been, but he wish it’s not to the point that he would start avoiding him again. The last time they fought over groceries, Doyoung avoided him for weeks, and Taeyong was about to lose his mind. It resulted to him crying in front of Doyoung asking for forgiveness, asking for him to stop avoiding him. He didn’t want Doyoung to be angry like that again.

“I need an explanation,” it was Doyoung who broke the ice, still not facing the man in question. “Just what on Earth happened back there, hyung? What the fuck are you up to this time?”

“Doyoung, I’m sorry I involved you into this,” Taeyong was quick to apologize, figure still leaning onto the wooden chair that hadn’t been lacquered for a while. “I can explain.”

“I’m waiting,” was Doyoung’s simple response.

Taeyong bit his lips as his mind went through all the possible ways he could give Doyoung the explanation he deserved. His mind was in a chaos, almost on the verge of having mental breakdown. He was being reminded, tormented of his past struggles post-breakup with Youngho each time he tried to think of words to tell his roommate. He sighed heavily, a long one. His mind and heart couldn’t handle it well, not right now, but all the uncertainty subsided when he felt a familiar warmth on his shoulder. He looked up and saw Doyoung holding a big bowl of chicken on his left hand, and him on his right.

“Tell me. I won’t judge.”

It was the first time since they entered their unit Taeyong had seen Doyoung smile again. It never failed to reassure him, not even once. He smiled apologetically, watching as his roommate place the bowl and plates on the wooden table in front of him.

“It was Youngho,” Taeyong started as his roommate took a seat beside him. Doyoung nodded knowingly, pulling off one of the chairs to have a seat.

“I knew there’s something more to both of you than just being ex-roommates,” Doyoung was always the smarter one. Maybe, just maybe Taeyong could get help from him. “What’s with Youngho?”

“He was my boyfriend back then, the longest and most sincere on top of that,” Taeyong took three pieces of chicken from the bowl to his plate, Doyoung took only two. Taeyong took a bite from the honey-glazed piece of meat, not missing the way Doyoung was simply staring at him right now,

“So my roommate’s ex-boyfriend is getting married to my bestfriend. That’s amazing. What a small world, don’t you think?” Doyoung took a bite of his chicken, preferring it without any sauce added. “Are you bitter about it? Do you, like, still have feelings for him?”

Taeyong gave the other a short glance after that inquiry. Doyoung was patiently waiting for the response, silently chewing and breaking down the food in his mouth. He watched Doyoung swallowed a lump before he answered, still uncertain about it.

“I’m not sure,” he shrugged nonchalantly. “I’m never sure,” Taeyong replied simply, pressing his lips into a thin line. “I guess I’m just mad that he’s already over it while I’m not. Well I thought I was, but not until I saw him again.”

“Oh,” was all Doyoung could mutter. He practically finished one piece of chicken right now. He stood up to get the two of them a glass of soda each, wiping the sauce out of Taeyong's cheek with his thumb before doing so.

“I mean look at him. Already engaged and whatnot and living his life to the fullest. He looked so happy, so content, unlike me who was still miserable because of him. I don’t want him to see me like this, to make him think he is thriving and I’m not. I don’t know, I just don’t want to feel left out.”

“So you decided to pretend I’m your boyfriend? In that way he would think you had moved on, am I right?” Doyoung concluded, getting back on his seat after handing Taeyong his glass of lemon soda. Taeyong simply nodded, mouthing a thank you to his roommate. “Ah, it’s sad though I’m only being used so you won’t look pathetic in front of Youngho.”

Taeyong snickered, almost facepalming himself before deciding he didn’t want any sauce on his face or any liquid on his shirt. Doyoung just looked at him, obviously judging him although contrary to his statement a while ago. Taeyong avoided the piercing gaze of his roommate, ashamed of his unintelligible decision of involving him in his very own problems.

“You know relationships aren’t a competition, hyung. Love is not a game you play and try to win,” his roommate added before taking another bite of his chicken. “So what if Youngho moved on quicker than you? Do you not want him to? Do you want him to still long and pine for you or something?”

The words pierced Taeyong like a stab on his skin. Maybe Doyoung was right. Maybe Taeyong was that petty to not let his ex have the better end of the stick. Youngho could have and get anything and anyone he wanted anyway. It shouldn’t be of his concern anymore. They had been over for so long already.

“It’s not like that,” Taeyong just simply heaved a sigh. He’s not in the mood for Doyoung’s nags right now. “I just don’t know how to explain this feeling right now.”

“Don’t think you’re special because of that,” Doyoung stood up from his seat another time, this time bringing the bowl once filled with chicken to the sink. “I have no idea how to tell Jaehyun all of these without sounding like a total idiot.”

“Did you just indirectly tell me what I did was pure idiocy?”

“Well, I won’t call it a smart move either.”

“Touché.”

Taeyong then followed suit, bringing and handing the two glasses once filled with soda to Doyoung. The pleasant lemon-y smell of the dishwashing soap lingered around the kitchen. 

“Why’d you guys break up though?”

The question caught Taeyong off guard. Doyoung was looking at him expectantly. The water in the faucet running still.

“I’ve heard a lot of things about Youngho from Jaehyun and, I don’t know how to say this but,” Doyoung paused for a moment, deciding conserving water was better and so he stopped the faucet from running. “He seems like your type or something.”

“He was my dream guy,” Taeyong couldn’t help but smile as he remembered the first time he took a glance of his ex-boyfriend. Doyoung snorted as he cringed. “You know, when I first saw him, my eyes literally went heart shaped.”

“Ew, you sound exactly like Donghyuck,” Doyoung let the faucet run again as he continued his disrupted task. “But if that’s the case though, why did you let him leave?”

“Sometimes you have to let go of the people you love, Doyoung,” the pain in the smile on Taeyong’s lips is obvious, Doyoung could see exactly that. “Plus, being away from each other was the best option at that time.”

“Was he in Chicago before?” Doyoung inquired curiously. Again, Taeyong was amazed of how quick Doyoung was in concluding. Indeed, Detective Conan had helped his deducting skills a lot. “I don’t know, Jaehyun told me he met him there so I’m just assuming it’s where Youngho went or something.”

“He went there because his work required him,” Taeyong’s head dropped slowly, eyes fixated on the wooden-tiled floor. His memories of the past were still crisp yet bittersweet, but maybe it wouldn’t hurt for Doyoung to know about it.

“Must have been disagreements, I suppose,” Doyoung was already finished drying the plates, carefully placing them on the rack as Taeyong was following him suit. Maybe they could continue the show they’re watching a while ago.

“He said it would be for the best of us, but I disagree. I thought I couldn’t be away from him. He still insisted anyway.”

Doyoung gave his roommate a concerning look and a pat on the back. Taeyong leaned onto the touch, finding comfort from the small contact.

“I haven’t heard the whole story yet but I think I know exactly what happened.”

“You know Detective Conan really helped you critically with your deduction skills.”

“That’s why we’re going watch it again this time.”

“Okay, you’re the boss tonight.”

🥀

“Should we bring tubs of ice cream, or really bottles of wine?”

Doyoung, with hands gripped on the pushcart and eyes fixated on the variety of flavors of the sweet dessert inside the fridge in front of him, ignoring the two boxed bottles of wine already in the cart, threw the question to his grunting roommate who just had roamed the whole store for a bag of chips they were currently craving for but to no avail.

“Doyoung we’re adults and not seven-year olds,” the man simply responded, a bit confused as to how the other got the idea of substituting the wine already chosen by them.

“I mean, I guess we could simply enjoy more the ice cream. Plus these wines are way too overpriced.”

“Well, you got a point.”

There were no more words needed to be said. The two just simply exchanged quick glances before Taeyong returned the boxes of wine on the shelf where they got it and before Doyoung replaced it with three tubs, all of different flavors, of ice cream. The smile on both of their faces afterward implied how they were mutually happy at this sudden change of decision.

The two roommates agreed upon each other to bring something for Jaehyun and Youngho in exchange for the free dinner they would be getting that night. Taeyong initiated the thought, excusing it as a gesture out of courtesy but really the reason was obvious. Doyoung didn’t oppose the offer though. After all it would be given as something like _thank you_ gift.

Doyoung had blabbered a lot about how good of a cook Jaehyun is, even better than himself, which made Taeyong anticipate the incoming event. He thought Doyoung’s cooking skills were already top-notch but to think there’s someone better was exciting as it is. Too bad for Taeyong, Doyoung had a lazy ass so the two of them barely survive each day with just take outs. Although, whenever Doyoung cooks, Taeyong envies whoever his roommate was going to marry someday because damn, what a catch.

Taeyong carefully put the boxes of wine on the shelf, making sure it was placed like how it was before the two of them took it. Before he walked back to his roommate, he happened to have a quick glance on the checkout counters. He’s spotted familiar figure, and the last thing he remembered, he tried to run as quickly as possible back to Doyoung.

“I think you might want to check out now,” Taeyong came back from the wine aisle, exhibiting a smirk on his face and a suspicious wink on top of that. Doyoung didn’t understand the gesture, but he gave into the suggestion anyway. After all, everything they wanted to buy, except for that one bag of chip they both glorify was already inside the cart. The two of them made their way to the counters, Taeyong offering to push the cart for which Doyoung didn’t refuse to.

As soon as they got into the payment section, Doyoung immediately understood the showcase of strange behavior his roommate had. Of course Taeyong would suggest to check out, because there, in all his glory at cashier number four, stood their three rooms-away neighbour, and both their “ideal man” _(it was only Doyoung’s ideal man at first, really, but Taeyong thought there would be no harm imitating him)_ , Kim Jungwoo. He was talking to the cashier with his angelic smile. Doyoung was far away but he could imagine how lovely his voice probably sounded.

Jungwoo was handing the cashier his card, a smile apparent on his angelic complexion. Taeyong examined the pretty boy ─ his picturesque appearance, statuesque physique, and charming personality. No wonder Doyoung was head-over-heels for this guy. The way he gracefully swayed the piece of hair that landed on his right eye, that simple act by the extraordinary man, was such a sight to watch, even just that. Taeyong averted his gaze to his roommate beside him, expecting him to gawk over Jungwoo already, mouth open wide, almost salivating ─ a picture already imprinted on his mind. He was almost certain Doyoung was drooling already, but instead he was welcomed by two expecting eyes, looking at him ─ staring. Taeyong was slightly taken aback. He tried to look through Doyoung’s eyes, but he found nothing.

“You were staring at him,” Doyoung stated nonchalantly, face unable to express any emotion. Taeyong just looked at him confusedly, brows meeting each other at the bridge of his nose. “Tell me, hyung.”

There was a slight movement in Doyoung’s facial muscles as if there was something about to happen but he suppressed it immediately. If Taeyong didn’t know Doyoung that much already, if only Taeyong wasn’t roommates with Doyoung for the past 13 months, he would’ve thought of anything else that would have boggle his mind as they continue to converse. But of course, he knew better than that. He knew what was bound to happen next.

_“Is he your crush or something?”_

There it was, the playful smirk Taeyong all along knew would appear after the other’s playful remarks. The same appeared on his very face, a silent laugh escape both of their lips, sounds blending harmoniously.

It was a running inside joke between the two of them that they’re both crushing and filled with affection for the unaware man named Jungwoo. Ever since the two of them moved to their currently shared unit, Jungwoo had been nothing but a ball of sunshine and a good, superb even, neighbour to them. He had showered them with nothing but kindness for the whole time they had been living in the same building as him. His cute looks only added one more reason for them to mutually like the other.

Doyoung once caught Taeyong stalking Jungwoo’s Instagram profile, taking screenshots of some photo he came across _("I was just saving the pictures of us he posted. I forgot to ask him to AirDrop them")_. Taeyong, however, heard Doyoung sleep talk about the same man, words coming out as if they were a script from a drama. It didn’t take them a long while when they decided to tease each other about their mutual adoration on Jungwoo.

“You were also staring at me,” Taeyong answered back, saying the words in between his chuckles. Doyoung only looked at him with an eyebrow raised up. 

“No, I wasn’t?” Doyoung replied, unsure.

“Yes, you are!”

“And what about it?”

“Then tell me, Doyoung.”

Taeyong moved his face closer to Doyoung’s, a smirk apparent on his handsome face. Doyoung swallowed and moved back a little, face turning a slight hue of pink from the sudden closeness of distance with his roommate. His eyes were open wide, contrast to Taeyong’s hooded ones. Although Doyoung knew his roommate was only going to tease him, his heart still managed to beat faster.

_“Am I your crush or something?”_

Taeyong’s laugh didn’t subside for a moment even after earning a light punch on the arm from his roommate. “As if,” was what Doyoung could only afford as a respond, rolling his eyes for added dramatic effect. He ignored the other, still humorously laughing, as he pushed their cart to the direction of the register where Jungwoo checked out.

“You really have good eyes for men, Doie. You know I’m a good catch.” 

“Never in a million years would I have a crush on you, Taeyong.”

“Are you telling me that or are you convincing yourself?”

“How about you shut up? And don’t even dare to tell me to make you because I would literally shove these cotton balls in your mouth.”

Their bickering didn’t seem to cease their whole short trip to the checkout counter. The two were both quick to throw remarks to each other, be it a witty or a snarky one. They were not too noisy, also obviously not too silent, but it was enough volume for Jungwoo to finally notice them. The two were so focused on throwing insults to each other they didn’t notice the sweet smile appearing on Jungwoo’s face.

“Nice meeting you here, Doyoung-hyung! Taeyong-hyung!”

The sudden greeting garnered the attention of the two as they halt behind the very man, pushcart being the only thing separating them. It might have been the infectious smile on Jungwoo’s face, or might have been the joy of being able to interact with him that caused Doyoung and Taeyong’s lips to curve in an endeared smile at the sight of the young man.

“Hello, Jungwoo!” Doyoung responded back, waving his right hand too vigorously for Taeyong’s liking. Jungwoo chuckled at the sight, eyes turning into two crescents and Taeyong and Doyoung never badly suppressed the urge to pinch his cheeks.

“Glad to see the new couple of our neighborhood strolling around here,” Jungwoo showcased his pearly white teeth, to the two roommates and then to the cashier as he was handed back his card. The smile on Doyoung’s face slowly neutralized. Taeyong’s mouth turned agape, surprised at whatever just came out of the other’s mouth. The sudden change of their reactions didn’t go unnoticed by Jungwoo, however. His smile was still there, but right now, it was an unsure one. He glanced them with questioning eyes. “Did I say something wrong?”

“How did you find out?” it was Taeyong who initiated the interrogation, Doyoung still staying silent and idle. Jungwoo gave a knowing ‘oh’ as he nodded his head, picking his bags of groceries as it was being handed to him.

“From the new tenant, Jaehyun was his name if I remembered correctly,” Jungwoo looked up as if trying to remember an information with relevant significance. Those words were enough for Doyoung to know what the rest of Jungwoo’s statement would be. He heaved a sigh as he listened to what the other had else to say.

“Yes, Jaehyun! He told me he is Doyoung-hyung’s bestfriend, so I told him I am a friend of you two. Then he spilled it to me ─ that you two are dating! I was shocked at first, but to be honest, I already expected it, and I’m so happy for you, guys! You really make a good couple!”

It was Jungwoo’s sweet giggles at the end of his statement which made Doyoung get out from his reverie, or maybe the fact that he already expected them to date, he was not so sure. Taeyong forced himself to giggle back, tugging at the hem of Doyoung’s shirt, somehow an action that screamed ‘I’m sorry this happened’.

“Jaehyun really told everyone that, didn’t he?” Doyoung chuckled nervously. It was now Taeyong who was idle at the moment, letting everything he was hearing get into him fully. Jungwoo, unaware of what was happening in the mind of the two, sent them another sweet smile as he picked up his bags from the counter, ready to go.

“Jaehyun told me you guys are gonna have dinner, so if you guys excuse me, I need to go! Nice meeting you here, Doyoung-hyung! Taeyong-hyung! Stay stronger, you two!”

The other gave the two a wink before he walked out of the store, leaving Taeyong and Doyoung together, still dumbfounded.

Taeyong knew he messed up. Taeyong knew he messed up so bad. And the fact Doyoung was, as well, affected with the bad decision he came up with just made it worse. He looked at the man beside him, eyes full of remorse. Taeyong wanted to apologize, to say sorry. This wasn’t what he intended to happen. This wasn’t what he expected to happen. He thought it would only be between them and the couple in front of their unit. Turned out he was wrong. Turned out he was wrong with this one. Doyoung was not looking at him, eyes fixated on the groceries as he picked them from the cart.

“Doyoung…”

“I’m not mad, hyung. I’m not mad this happened. If that’s what you’re thinking. Don’t feel bad.”

Doyoung looked at him finally, a smile slowly growing on his face. Taeyong only needed to see that to feel slightly at ease again. A smile as well crept on his face.

“Thank you, and sorry again I involved you into this.”

“How many do you think knew it now?”

“I don’t know,” Taeyong shrugged, genuinely having no idea. “How talkative could Jaehyun be?”

Doyoung gave him a look.

“Hyung,” Doyoung sighed and shook his head slowly. “I think everyone knows now.”

🥀

“Your bestfriend would be the last person I would tell my darkest secrets with?”

“Not my fault you lied to him.”

“I wouldn’t have known he’s that type of person.”

“The damage has been done. Just deal with the consequences, hyung.”

Taeyong was sitting idly on the countertops of their kitchen, watching Doyoung stack their groceries in the cabinets and on the shelves. He might be on the verge of another mental breakdown after witnessing how their next-door neighbors welcomed them as they return from the store. This was not what he expected would happen. Everyone was screaming at them their congratulatory remarks. He remembered familiar faces like Jisung, Chenle, Jaemin, Renjun, and Jeno throw them a bunch of ‘stay strong’s _(Jeno being the loudest, squealing and yelling in excitement because apparently, his boss has “finally done it”)_ and that wasn’t supposed to happen, at least not in Taeyong’s little fantasy. The fact that he and Doyoung were dating should not spread like wildfire at all, never, especially since the “fact” wasn’t even true at all. He’s afraid the fire he started would scatter farther and farther before he could even cease it. He’s afraid he could burn someone who shouldn’t get hurt in the first place. He’s afraid of what could happen to Doyoung, to the man he had given no choice but to ride this tomfoolery train with him.

He observed the other, seeking for the slightest sign of annoyance in him, littlest bit of disappointment in whatever he involved him with. Doyoung seemed to sense the uneasiness in him ─ he always did, and he found himself being stared at by the boy a few meters away from him, still looking for the tiniest of sign.

“What’s your business staring at me like that?” he inquired nonchalantly. Taeyong averted his gaze to the bags of goods still on the ground, huffing air out of his mouth to blow his fringes away.

“I know you’re mad at me,” he simply replied. Doyoung pressed his lips into a thin line, placing the canned soup on the shelf before he made his way beside his roommate, sitting on the counter tops with him.

“What made you think I was?” he asked back, not looking at the man beside him.

“There’s no way you’re not after what happened back there. After what all happened outside that door. I know you’re angry! All of these wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t let my pride and ego get the best of me. If only I didn’t involve you in this─”

“Oh my gosh, hyung! You’re always leaping into conclusions!” Doyoung rolled his eyes halfway before he could meet Taeyong’s. “I’m not mad, alright? Stop thinking I was for the love of nachos!”

It was the sound of Doyoung giggling which made Taeyong realize he really was worrying for nothing. All the tension in him eased out immediately at the sight of his roommate. He breathed out the air he didn’t know he was holding and giggled along with the younger.

“How can you keep calm despite all of these though?” Taeyong asked as the giggles subsided. Doyoung just shrugged his shoulders, jumping off the countertops to continue his interrupted task.

“This is more of your problem if you ask me.”

“More of my problem?” Taeyong followed suit, deciding helping the other would deem his time more useful than simply watching his roommate do all the work. “Everyone thinks I’m your boyfriend now. How is that not _our_ problem?”

“What do you want me to do? Tell everyone it’s not true?” Doyoung shook his head, grabbing the packets of noodles inside another bag of groceries. “Anyway, it would be you who’d face the consequences if I spill the truth. Everyone would just know how pathetic you really are not wanting to be inferior to Youngho at all cost.”

“You have a point.”

Taeyong heaved a sigh as he placed the tubs of ice cream inside their freezer. It would be stupid to suddenly spill the lies he just made less than 24 hours ago without taking any responsibility over it, or enjoying it if he may add. Maybe he could think of something the two of them may do to fix this mess. Maybe there’s a way.

Maybe Doyoung wouldn’t mind if he suggests doing something crazy like this one he was about to recommend.

“What if we play pretend? Since everyone thinks we’re dating anyway, why don’t we just play by it? Why don’t we just keep this up?”

Doyoung slipped and dropped the packet of ramen in his hands, astonished by the sudden idea the other had just brought up. He eyed his roommate, looked him in the eyes with horror. Taeyong stifled an awkward chuckle, feeling tensed at the way the other was looking at him.

Did Taeyong think this idea was brilliant? Absolutely not! He even admit himself this was total bonkers, but not ridiculous enough for Doyoung to look at him like that. Did he deserve it? Did he deserve to be the reason why Doyoung was looking at him mortified as if he heard the judge gave him an inhumane verdict for a crime he was wrongly accused of but had to face the consequences for the next 27 years? Taeyong made himself believe he did not. He led to the conclusion that Doyoung was just simply being overly dramatic, as usual, with his reactions. Yes, that was it. Doyoung loved being theatrical. He loved exaggerations. Maybe he was just manifesting his inner actor. Maybe that’s it and Taeyong was just overly paranoid to think there was something wrong about what he said.

He made himself believe that.

Except it had been a few minutes since Doyoung pulled that face and Taeyong, out of worry, was slowly and subtly reciprocating the same.

“You can’t be serious, hyung,” Doyoung finally broke the intense silence slowly devouring their kitchen premises, face too profound for Taeyong to fathom. “What you just said is too wrong in a lot of ways.”

Doyoung picked up the item he dropped and carried on with the groceries as if the tension was never there a few moments ago. Taeyong tried to catch up with the vibes of easiness suddenly emitting from the other, but he couldn’t. He felt obliged to know about something. Maybe it was the way Doyoung reacted that made him feel so.

“Why?” the urge to inquire pushed him to speak despite still feeling uneasy. “We were just going to pretend like a couple. Pretend is the key. What could go wrong?”

Taeyong finally finished filling the refrigerator with drinks and produce. He went immediately to Doyoung’s direction to get the bag filled with non-food items, deciding to refill all the liquid soap and dishwashing soap canisters on the sink.

“What could go wrong?” Doyoung closed the cabinet doors, making sure the satisfying click of the magnets on each corner would resonate inside the halls. “I have read enough fictions and watched enough dramas to know where this is going.”

“Well I have not so if you could fill me in, I would appreciate that.”

Taeyong tightened the cap of both the canisters he just filled up. Doyoung walked straight to the dining table, picking and checking his phone placed on the table tops. The other followed suit a few moments later.

“You really have no idea? Not even a bit?” Doyoung, still on his phone, questioned as the other slumped himself on the table, tiredness from doing the groceries finally tolling on him.

“I would not ask if I had.”

“If only you watched any of the drama recommendations I gave you before, we wouldn’t have this conversation.”

“Well, I didn’t so just deal with it. Plus you know, I hate romantic stuff on the television.”

“Wow! I couldn’t tell.”

“Yeah, well no shit, Sherlock.”

Taeyong raised his head abruptly, feeling a little dizzy as he did so, and stared right through his roommate, or more like on the back of his roommate’s Android phone.

“I demand your attention and the answer to my question, Mr. Kim,” Taeyong grunted as he knocked his knuckles on the wooden surface his chin was on, trying to grab the other’s attention. The action seemed to work as Doyoung was now looking directly at him, his phone now laying flatly on the surface. “What really could go wrong?”

“Why do you wanna know?”

“So I could consider if I will stick to the plan or not.”

“You’re really still considering that?” Doyoung chewed the bottom of his lips, a mannerism Taeyong noted the other does a lot whenever his nerves are getting the best out of him. Taeyong decided to sit upright, eyes not leaving Doyoung’s.

“Why are you so against it?” Taeyong softened his gaze as the other was getting aggressive with chewing his lips, afraid blood might be dripping any moment now. Doyoung looked down, deciding looking at the other was not helping him ease his racing heart. It was doing the opposite ─ it just made the pace of his heart quicker.

Doyoung liked to think nothing would affect a thing between their friendship if he decided to agree to this stupid plan his roommate had come up with. He liked to think they would continue to live their usual lives, just this time, they have to act and pretend like two people looking forward to exchanging vows years later instead of just typical roommates doing chores and groceries together. He liked to think everything would remain the same even after agreeing to do the other’s shenanigan. Was Doyoung really against it? Probably. He couldn’t be certain himself. He couldn’t be certain about it, but he could be certain about one thing:

_This would hurt him on the long run. Definitely. Absolutely._

He smiled in pain.

“Feelings might get involved.”

Doyoung silently muttered under his breath. He looked up to catch Taeyong’s gaze, bit surprised to actually catch it, surprised Taeyong was still looking at him.

Taeyong luckily caught what the other had just said. He only needed those words to finally understand why.

“One of us might get hurt,” Doyoung drooped his head another time. _“And I know it’s going to be me.”_

Taeyong didn’t catch at all what the other’s last words were as Doyoung softly whispered it to himself, but he didn’t take regard to those anyway.

Taeyong vaguely understood the other’s worries, but he didn’t invalidate it. It’s a valid ground to go against the plan he wanted to pursue, and he admired Doyoung for voicing it out to him. Taeyong felt the weight of reassuring the other on his shoulders. He felt the need to tell him there’s nothing to worry about. He reached for Doyoung’s hand and squeezed it gently, a gesture he did not only to comfort him but to prompt him to catch his gaze another time. Doyoung looked up to meet Taeyong’s eyes once again.

“Don’t worry, Doyoung,” Taeyong smiled with his eyes sincerely. Doyoung just sat there idly, anticipating what the other had to say next. He was holding his breath, but he was totally unaware of the fact.

_“I know why you’re worried. Don’t worry, I will try not to fall for you. I promise I won’t fall in love with you.”_

Taeyong smiled reassuringly as he delivered these words he thought Doyoung wanted to hear.

Doyoung’s heart was destroyed completely as he heard the words he never wanted to hear, but he dismissed the heartache and smiled through it.

“You’re an idiot.”

“At least I’m your idiot.”

“Oh, so we’re starting now? I never said I agreed.”

“But you implied.”

Doyoung just chuckled as he threw a slight punch onto Taeyong’s arms. The latter pretended to feel hurt. The room now filled with laughter.

"I have a question, though," Doyoung said hesitantly. Why he was hesitating was out of Taeyong's knowledge, but that did not stop him from answering the query the other asked.

_"For how long are we going to do this?"_

Taeyong didn't know. Even after looking at the other's questioning, yet full of hope, eyes, he still did not have an answer.

"I don't know," Taeyong unconsciously responded. shaking his head as he just realized what he said. Doyoung just smiled, an emotion Taeyong could not pinpoint exactly what it was behind it, then took his focus back to his phone screen.

"Forget that I asked," Doyoung silently said. "But please keep your promise."

Taeyong felt relieved as Doyoung finally smiled at him again. He would try his best to keep his promise. _He would try his best not to disappoint Doyoung in any way possible._

🥀

Turned out Doyoung’s claims about his bestfriend’s culinary skills were absolute facts. The variety of food on the table overwhelmed Taeyong far too much, literally a feast for the eyes and for the mouth as well. He didn’t miss the chance to try each one of them: from the kimchi-jjigae Jaehyun was proud of _(“I finally made it taste like yours,” the dimpled-man excitedly exclaimed to his bestfriend; Doyoung proudly applauded him)_ to the different sort of pastries and breads neatly placed in a basket decorated with red tartan fabric. Taeyong’s sweet-tooth was in bliss from the sight of mostly-chocolate flavored baked treats in front of him. Doyoung knew Taeyong in a sugar rush is a total chaos; therefore, he did his best trying to swat his roommate’s hands whenever he reached for another sweet treat _(“You’ve had enough for the night, hyung,” Taeyong just grunted and pouted the rest of the dinner)._

The dinner was pleasant, although a bit awkward. It was mostly Jaehyun and Doyoung catching up with each other’s lives, but each one of them had contributed their fair share to keep the night alive. Jaehyun would throw questions to Taeyong in any given chance here and there. The latter would answer it briefly, trying not to give too much, then it was back to the two bestfriends another time. Youngho would yell jokes in between some silent pauses and they would all break into a fit of laughter, all of them except one.

Doyoung and Youngho got along pretty well quickly, much to Taeyong’s surprise. They had talked a lot about video games, reason why they’re good friends already. Taeyong knew how big of a nerd Doyoung was when it comes to his favorite games, which happened to be Youngho’s favorites as well, so it’s not the biggest surprise they got along well. That wasn’t supposed to be that much of a surprise anyway considering how quickly him and Jaehyun clicked as well. They shared a lot of interests, and Taeyong was glad he now had someone to share his thoughts and ideas about dancing since Doyoung never looked interested whenever he shared the same to him.

The couple, the real one, were naturals at initiating conversations and building relationships. Jaehyun was slightly better than Youngho, Taeyong observed. No wonder how he managed to spread the news he fabricated to the entirety of their neighborhood.

Taeyong was lucky enough not a lot was asked of him concerning his and Youngho’s past. The most information he had given was their college backgrounds. They were both music majors. Taeyong was more into dancing while Youngho put most of his time perfecting his DJ-ing and photography skills. Fortunately, Youngho seemed to be vibing along just as fine. He never said anything about their past and just nodded along to whatever he said, and to that, Taeyong was relieved.

The roommates learned the couple met in Chicago, the place Taeyong used to despise so much. He had never been there, but Youngho had to be there few years ago. Doyoung cooed as Jaehyun described how Youngho proposed to him. Jaehyun’s eyes sparks as each words escaped his mouth. There’s fondness in there, bliss, love. Youngho was just staring at his fiancé, sharing the same emotions with him, smiling lovingly.

The sight hurt Taeyong for obvious reasons.

That was how he was whenever he told Xuxi, one of his juniors and closest friends in the dance club back in college, about how his and Youngho’s day went ─ the walk in the park, the ice creams, the enjoying the sunset. Youngho used to stare at him the way he was staring at Jaehyun everytime he watched him practice their routine. Taeyong used to be whoever Jaehyun was right now for Youngho.

He tried his best not to feel hurt, or at least not to show or exude it. He wanted to be as excited as his roommate about listening for another love story to unfold in front of him, but he couldn’t. He hated himself for not being able to. He hated himself for not being able to because he was still holding a grudge against his past. He hated himself for being not able to get over the past.

It had been 3 years already since they broke up but everything still felt fresh. The pain was still there as if Youngho just broke up with him a few seconds ago.

The heartache was too much for Taeyong to bear. There was uncertainty if he could still keep the façade he had built. It was on the verge of breaking down, each debris slowly chipping off, about to hit the ground ─ all the strength he gathered and kept for this night gradually going down the drain.

Everything seemed broken; he was not fine, until he felt warmth seeped into him. Suddenly, all that was almost gone came back immediately.

Doyoung was holding his hand ─ a gesture Taeyong appreciates a lot. He was smiling at him, eyes spoke to him so sweetly and assured him there was nothing to be worried about.

Taeyong smiled back. He didn’t know how he did it but he just smiled. This was the comfort he needed. Doyoung’s comfort was what he sought for, and he couldn’t be gladder his roommate was able to deliver it from such simple gesture as this.

He reciprocated the gesture, interlacing their fingers, and squeezing it gently yet firmly. He mouthed a silent “thank you”, unsure if the other comprehended it. The way Doyoung’s eyes curved into pretty crescents as he stifled a silent laugh signified him he did. 

“Excuse me? I’m telling something here, so what business the two of you have to be lovey-doveys in front of me?”

The two roommates were thrown off their own worlds as Jaehyun exclaimed his thoughts, making his voice raspy to give an angry impression, but failed miserably as something got caught in his throat, he had to cough a few times to get it out. Youngho bursted out laughing hard as he patted his fiancé’s back to calm his throat. His laugh seemed infectious as it made the other two laugh as well. Yes, this time Taeyong was laughing with them.

Taeyong caught Jaehyun glancing Doyoung as the laughter was still yet to subside. The glance was like of a proud mother ─ a mother proud for her child. Jaehyun averted his gaze to him, had Taeyong raise his eyebrows for some reason. Jaehyun looked at him knowingly, the dimples on his cheeks started to deepen. Taeyong was confused and uncertain what that was about, but he didn’t ask. There are things better left unknown and that’s one of them.

🥀

“Hyung, I can’t believe you willingly volunteered to wash the dishes when you barely do our own,” Doyoung complained as the four young men tidied up the table, putting the plates, bowls, and glasses in the sink. The couple watched them from afar, unable to keep the laughter to themselves. Doyoung acting like a kid was such a sight to watch anyway.

“I wouldn’t want to let Jaehyun here do all the dishes after he gave us that amazing meal,” Taeyong responded as he finished wiping the table with a damp cloth. “That’s called ‘etiquette’ in case you were unaware.”

“As if I don’t know the real reason,” Doyoung rolled his eyes as he went to the other side of the couple’s unit.

“Come on, Doyoung. Let’s see how good you really are in playing Kartrider,” Taeyong heard Youngho exclaim from the living room. He didn’t miss the way Doyoung yelled back “bring it on”. He just had to laugh. He knew Doyoung was not as good in that game as he claimed to be.

Youngho invited them to play some video games to kill time as they wait for Jaehyun to finish the dishes. Doyoung, obviously, agreed to the idea but Taeyong had second thoughts over it. He weighed the probability of the possible consequences if he joined and he concluded there would be nothing wrong but he still decided to do otherwise. Doyoung was right, he just volunteered to do the dishes to give himself an excuse to be away from Youngho. He would still help with the dishes either way. Jaehyun was an amazing cook and the least he could do was do the dishes as thanks.

Taeyong put a generous amount of dishwashing soap on the sponge as he scrubbed each plate with it. The couple was using the same brand of dishwashing soap he and Doyoung were using. He appreciated the familiarity of the scent. It just felt like he was doing their own dishes.

“Hello, Taeyong!”

He heard Jaehyun call him from behind. He turned his head to be welcomed with the other having the same knowing look on his face like the one Taeyong witnessed during dinner. Jaehyun sat himself on a chair as he watched the other perform his task, the backrest on his front as he rested his arms on it. Taeyong had no idea why Jaehyun was watching him instead of playing with the others. He offered a smile anyway, unsure why Jaehyun was throwing him looks like that.

“’Sup, Jaehyun!”

“I actually waited to have an alone time with you,” Jaehyun blurted as he rested his chin on his forearm. “You can continue what you’re doing. I know I’m gorgeous but you don’t need to look at me.”

Jaehyun’s deep, hearty laugh resonated inside the kitchen after throwing such statement. Taeyong’s nerves were in shambles right now, but he didn’t let Jaehyun see that. He turned his back against the other as he continued scrubbing the plates with his soap-y sponge.

Whatever Jaehyun’s business was wanting to be alone with him was out of his knowledge, and that just made this situation as nerve-wracking as it was. There were too much possibilities, and Taeyong couldn’t decide which one would be the real deal. Jaehyun could use this as an opportunity to find out more about him and Youngho, which led Taeyong praying to all known gods above asking them all to have mercy on him and not let that or anything close to that happen. It could also be because Jaehyun found him attractive. That could be it? Maybe he could convince Jaehyun to cheat against Youngho with him. That could be the biggest revenge he could pull off against his former boyfriend, but Taeyong was sane still and he would never do such a thing. Although the revenge part is promising, Taeyong was never the one to tolerate unfaithful acts at all.

“Thank you for making Doyoung happy.”

The statement threw Taeyong off-guard. He turned his head only to be welcomed by the other showcasing the deep dimples on his cheeks.

“I’m so happy seeing him being this genuinely happy. I always hoped for this,” Jaehyun’s eyes showcased an emotion Taeyong couldn’t decide whether it’s bliss or sadness, or a combination of both. “The day I went to Chicago was the most devastating time in his life, and it’s not because I was leaving him behind if that’s what you’re thinking.”

Jaehyun averted his gaze to the silver utensils and cutleries displayed on the countertops, smile not leaving his face. Taeyong noticed the transition from the brightness it exuded when the other was smiling at him to the dullness and sadness as he turned his gaze away.

“The way Doyoung loves is just pure and dumb at the same time you know,” Jaehyun chuckled.

Taeyong wondered why he was being told about this. Whatever the reason was, and whatever Jaehyun wanted to tell him, he was ready to listen.

“The last time he was in a relationship, he was beaten up so bad,” Taeyong was visibly shocked at what he heard. Jaehyun waved his hands in panic. His face looked as if he was begging Taeyong to dismiss the thought he made him have. “I meant it as a metaphor, not literally. Yuta never put a hand on him that way.”

“Yuta?” Taeyong questioned.

“Oh, I see he haven’t told you yet,” Jaehyun adjusted himself on his seat, arms now too tired to support the weight of his head anymore. “He used to date Doyoung. I never supported them, though. I hated that Yuta guy for him.”

This was news for Taeyong. He never asked Doyoung about his love life since the latter never bothered asking him about his own anyway. He never knew Doyoung was in a relationship before, let alone a relationship his own bestfriend never supported to begin with.

“Why did you hate that Yuta guy?”

Jaehyun finally looked back at him. Seems like the sudden interest on the silverwares finally disappeared. He was not smiling anymore, nor did Taeyong understand the emotion behind the face Jaehyun had right now. Taeyong didn’t say anything and just waited for the other to continue, patiently.

“He was a horrible guy, so selfish. Doyoung poured all his love to him but he never really cared. He never returned not even a single ounce of love to Doyoung and as his bestfriend, I hated seeing Doyoung give all the love he had and not have anything left for himself so much.”

“The day of my flight to Chicago, I was hesitant to leave him at first. I’m afraid of whatever Yuta could do to him. I’m afraid something bad might happen while I was away, unable to protect my bestfriend from any harm,” Jaehyun braced himself. Reminiscing the past might not be sunshine and rainbows for him.

“As I board the plane, waiting for our take off, he called me to break the news. Yuta broke up with him. The worst part of the breakup ─ Yuta never loved him. Everything was just a stupid dare, and Doyoung was just the guinea pig.”

Jaehyun looked on the floor, seething as anger consumed him as he began remembering the past. Taeyong felt a new emotion ─ wrath, and it was all because of one and only person, and he never even had the chance to meet and see him before. He wanted to throw hands. His fists were already clenching tightly — releasing all the foam from the sponge in his hand, teeth slowly being pushed together as he gritted. How could someone do that to Doyoung? To Doyoung, of all people?

Living with Doyoung for 13 months, and knowing him for almost three years now was enough for Taeyong to confidently conclude he never deserved whatever treatment that Yuta guy gave him. He knew he deserved better. He deserved anyone or anything else over that bastard. If only there was a way he could meet Yuta right now, he would do so just to throw a solid punch on his face for Doyoung.

“I wanted to cancel my flight. I wanted to keep the phone call, but I couldn’t. It took me three whole days to finally get back to him. He was still a crying mess over the phone. I couldn’t do anything about it.”

“I’ve been keeping in touch with him through the phone. I was not with him physically ─ our only mean of communication was through facetime. I only saw him virtually, but I could still see and feel his pain. I still know he was hurt, and it hurt me so much that I wasn’t there for him to comfort him.”

Taeyong imagined how hard it might had been for the two bestfriends, especially for Jaehyun. Being unable to do something as you watch your bestfriend slowly break down into nothingness just hurt as much. He wasn’t naïve to the feeling of a broken heart. He knew so well how it sucks. He knew how hard it was to completely overcome. Doyoung had undergone the same phase as him, but their difference: Taeyong had his seniors and hyungs with him to help him overcome it _(Taemin, Baekhyun and Jongin were always there cheering him up)_ , Doyoung’s bestfriend was away from him. His roommate had such a strong willpower, and he admired him even more for that.

“I never really thought he could ever be happy again. He was so obsessed with the feeling of sadness. He couldn’t distract himself from it and just let himself drown in it. I was so afraid something bad might happen.”

Jaehyun turned his gaze back to Taeyong. His dimples were slowly taking their appearances back on his cheeks, lips curling up into a sweet smile, and eyes creasing into crescents. Taeyong was unsure why, but he rather witness this than the lack of cheerfulness he was exhibiting a few moments back.

“Everything changed when he moved out of his old apartment to a new one to take care of the café his brother passed on to him. Everything changed when he started telling me stories about his new neighbor ─ a cool guy and a really good, charismatic dancer. Everything changed when he started talking to me about you, when he met you.”

Taeyong felt his face heat up a little bit, lips parted a little as he silently gasped, eyes exuded mixed emotions as he slowly consumed the information Jaehyun just threw at him.

He had never wondered about whatever Doyoung’s first impression was of him, but it sure felt surreal finding it out from someone else ─ a person, other than himself, who Doyoung tells most of his secrets with, secrets Taeyong had no business over.

“Doyoung never talked about someone the way he talked about you. Since that day ─ since that day he started to genuinely smile again, I knew there’s nothing for me to worry about anymore,” Jaehyun’s dimple deepened. Taeyong couldn’t control the way his lips curled upwards as he locked gaze with the other man. He let it happen anyway. “I knew Doyoung is in good hands now, and tonight just proved it.”

“I wonder what sort of things Doyoung told you about me,” Jaehyun snickered at his insinuating remark, but Taeyong shared the laughter with the other nevertheless. “I hope nothing too terrible.”

“With how he described you, I expected to meet an actual angel with halo and wings and stuff when I moved in here.”

“No way Doyoung is capable of saying good things about me to others when he’s all mean to me back in our unit.”

The laughter slowly subsided and the kitchen turned silent again. Taeyong continued washing the dishes while Jaehyun was still there, sitting idly with his mobile phone in his hold. The silence was comfortable. The sound of running faucet, of the sound effects of the game the other two are playing, and of Doyoung yelling curses and swears in the other side of the unit _(“He still has that potty mouth,” Jaehyun humorlessly stated,)_ were the only noises ruining the total quietness inside. Taeyong didn’t mind it though.

As soon as he finished putting the plates and utensils in the rack with the help of Jaehyun, Taeyong decided to check in his roommate from afar. Doyoung was too close on the television for Taeyong’s liking. He didn’t yell at him to go a little farther from the screen. He wouldn’t mind listening to Doyoung constantly complaining about a headache later, not when he’s too cheerful and competitive right now in front him.

Taeyong’s lips curled to a smile watching Doyoung raise his hands in victory as he proudly yell he won first place, excitedly jumping and stomping around the living room. Taeyong probably stared at his roommates for too long he didn’t notice Jaehyun placing a hand on his shoulder. He got a little bit astonished by the physical contact. He cut his gaze to look at Jaehyun who was looking at him knowingly for the third time that night.

“I want you to know something, Taeyong,” Jaehyun exclaimed. Taeyong raised both of his eyebrows out of curiosity, feeling the other’s hand slip out his shoulder. “If ever you start treating Doyoung the way Yuta treated him, you will catch these hands.”

Jaehyun punched his right arm a little too hard before he walked away and let himself join the scene Taeyong was happily admiring a few moments ago. Taeyong winced in pain as he rubbed the spot where the other jabbed him. He was clueless what that was for ─ what provoked Jaehyun to attack him like that. Then sudden realization hit him.

Jaehyun was just protecting Doyoung because _oh yeah, I was dating Doyoung._

He laughed to himself as he joined the others, sitting beside his roommate as Doyoung encased him in a hug, still chanting he won first place.

**Author's Note:**

> _talk to me on[ twitter ](http://www.twitter.com/makkeuri_) and [ curiouscat ](http://www.curiouscat.me/doyochi_) :) _


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